blessed

i’d really like to start going to church she said out of nowhere as he merged the rental monte carlo onto the merritt parkway on a gray day that was too fucking cold for march because it’s supposed to be the third day of spring after all and in protest he didn’t bring a coat.

what makes you say that he said because he knew that she had a problem with people who hid behind jesus but he knew her well enough and was pretty sure that she didn’t want to hide but rather wanted to use the messiah as a shield. because the world is a shitty place and most people are evil and i don’t want to get caught up in all of it. he agreed with her except he said that he would have to eliminate the word most although ten years ago he would have underlined and italicized it and he was on a personal mission to help her not go down the same path he took because it was for shit to say the least and no one should have to go through that and if he could take that bullet for her the way that christ took the nails for humanity then he was willing to make that deal.

he knew of the beating and the infidelity and it made him angry because who could hurt such a sweet soul even if she does say fuck you too much and it looked funny coming out of such a cute little person. in the office he would turn his head so that she couldn’t see him well up when she would tell the stories of her past but she knew what was going on and one time called him a pussy but when he turned back around he could see that her eyes were glassy too and it was nice to share a moment like that even if it was despair that drove them there but he didn’t know if the tears were in remembrance or because of his.

guard rails and yellow signs with deer silhouettes with graffiti penises flew past and she said that when she is in the church listening to the priest she is more at peace than at any other time and then he says that peace is not a place with no chaos but rather a place where you can be surrounded by chaos and still be calm in your heart and she said fuck you – see what i mean - and your lame quotes but he couldn’t help it he got the habit from his dead grandfather and then he hit her with the kingdom of heaven is not a place but a state of mind so she smacked him on the leg and he pretended to veer off the road.

they had to be quiet for a while and let it all soak in as they say and silence is golden as they also say and if he drove really fast and used the tappan zee bridge as a ramp they would be in orbit in no time and wouldn't that be better than here and even though for a moment he thought it really might happen it didn’t and they were passed by a minivan with a mom and some kids and a license place that said ‘im-blesd’.